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today I feel like crap
I was doing soooo well, and then I binged on some chocolate, so cal intake 2day was like 800!
FUUUUUCKS SAKE!!
I hate myself, and i HATE being fat! I hate this fat surrounding me,
I want to get down 2 100lbs... omg
I hope I would finally be happy then
sorry its so depressing today
NON ED RELATED
I'm in the middle of this massive arguement between my best friend and her boyfriend who is ALSO my best friend, and he keeps calling me asking me what to do etc, but i DON'T know anymore! I'm fed up of being in the middle of this incoherant relationship! fucks SAKE keep me OUT of it!!!!!!!!!
sorry to moan
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p..s fasting again 2moro which shouldnt be too hard as im home alone... YAY!! :D:D:D:D:D:D
Right Day 1 of my 6 day fast, i really want to loose some weight before I go back to Uni cuz i feel OBESE!!!!!!
there's this bloke I really like so I want him to notice me, I don't really talk to him normally but I try and go out when I think he's going to be out cuz it makes me not want to eat! yay! and occaisionally I'll get lucky and we'll have a bit of convo and he has come bck to mine a few times. But its awkward cuz all of his mates know that we've slept together etc, so its really weird...
ANYWAY, the point is I'm fasting, not for anyone but for myself, I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing my fat obese self!!! i want to be thin so my bones are sticking out to the max! size zero is definatly my ultimate aim! i love it! love it soooooo much!!!
anyway i think i'm rambling on, its because I'm bored at home and my mom and my sister are eating and I'm trying SOOOO hard not to have any! I WANT to be able to do this fast for a week! I'll feel sooo good afterwards I know it, I've just got to be strong!
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- Location:Home
- Music:The Script - We Cry (amazing song!)
I'm officially starting ABC from tomorrow, I feel like a HUUUGE HUUUUUGE disgusting person, which I am and i'm SICK of being fat. Whenever I pinch my skin it makes me feel physically sick, and I ALWAYS feel guilty when I eat, or after I eat. I have binged and purged the past couple of days, despite having a really good run of fasting! Actually, instead of starting ABC 2moro, I might fast instead, then start the ABC.. I shall see! I'm so glad I've finally worked all this out, I'm gonna be on here ALL the time! wooooooo!
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